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Friday, 18 January 2008 |
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After posting some of my life on line I decided to read back through and see what I might have left out. One of the major things that jumped out at me is my relationship with my dad. I started out by saying he drank allot and got abusive, that was true. Growing up in an abusive home with an active alcoholic for a dad was hard. There were times I cried myself to sleep because of the pain from the abuse I had to endure. I know it was not him, it was the alcohol. I learned an alcoholic will do a lot of things they normally would not do if it was not for the alcohol. He lost his daughter when she was only 9 years old. That is when he started drinking and becoming abusive. Other than that he was a wonderful man. If it was not for the fact he was an alcoholic I would not be making choosedestiny.com right now.
The part I left out was the fact that since that time I have developed a very loving relationship with my dad. He stopped drinking many years ago and is a very respectable man. The abuse stopped when the drinking stopped. We have sat down and talked about the things that took place in our past. I also had to grow up and ask him for forgiveness for the things that I have done wrong in my life towards him. I have absolutely no regrets towards my childhood or any part of my life for that matter. I decided a long time ago that the only way to get over my pain and hurt that I was holding inside was to forgive. I could sit with all the self pity from growing up with an alcoholic father and living in an abusive home. I could have kept the cycle going and become an alcoholic myself or even worse been abusive to my kids.
It gave me an idea of what I didn’t want to be like and I said that if I could use any of this as a way to help even one person in the world then it was all worth it. I even went as far as thinking I would go through it again if it would help more people. Of course, this was impossible but you get the idea of my thoughts on this matter. I know there are people out there who have grown up in an abusive alcoholic house hold, or might be in an abusive situation at this very moment. It is those people that my passion for helping started for. God has shown me over the years that I do not have to focus on just people from neglected, abusive, alcoholic homes but that I can help everyone, somehow. That gets me excited and over come with joy.
At that point in my life I knew in my heart that I was destined to make a difference in life. I am still trying to figure out what that difference will be but now that I am working on developing a strong personal relationship with God our creator, I know that I will figure it out. I am very excited to find out if this is going to help people out or not. If not then that is fine because I know I will be helping myself. If it does help someone then that is just awesome. WOW I get so excited just thinking about the possibility of helping someone that it feels like I already have. I look forward to seeing if anyone will leave comments, whether they are good or bad I feel they will do nothing but help people out.
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My Journey 
(Read by Max McLean. Provided by The Listener's Audio Bible.)
