The next day we went to church. I have never been so excited for church to get over. I have to admit I was also scared. I had no idea what my youth pastor was going to say, or what to expect, I just knew that whatever it was, it was going to be great. I pulled him aside and asked if you could take some time to sit and listen to me, I had a story to tell.

He said he did so I let my mom know that I would be out when I was done and I went in and repeat the events of the night before to him. He was so excited! I didn’t think this was possible but I think he was more excited then I was! He asked if I was ready to ask God into my life and I said YES!! Wow what a feeling, just by asking God to enter my life and to help guide me on to the path of righteousness was such a warm, wonderful feeling. I felt like I was walking on clouds when I left the church that day. My mom was also excited for me. What a great Easter to have. I can’t ever remember having a better holiday in my life. Life felt like it had purpose, and the best part was that I was supposed to be part of this thing called life.

I started to go to church for everything I could again, but this time was not because I was trying to escape a bad home life. This time I was trying to find out what I was supposed to do with this new found love and purpose in my life. I spent time reading the bible and I started to right. I would right different poems for myself to look back on. I still didn’t know what to do with my life now, but I was convinced that I was going to figure it out and everything was going to be great from that point on. I could sit back, relax, and enjoy life. God was going to take care of me from this moment on.

I was still a young kid and that I think is a dream that allot of people struggle within their relationship with God. Young people and adults alike get this idea in their head that all the work we have to do is to ask God to enter our lives and we are done. As I write this now I find myself laughing, allot at this thought. If that is all it took I suppose that everyone would decide to be Christians. Well I found out in my young journey that life changes and changes fast.

I don’t know how much time had passed but my youth pastor was called by God to move to a different church. That is how he told it to me. I went home and I wept. How can this be, the person who helped make such a difference in my life was just going to leave me? I was hurt and confused. I thought I asked God into my life, and now he was taking things away from me. I was angered and scared. What would I do without him there, who would I turn to, who would answer my questions. Well I didn’t know the answers to those questions but I did know that he was leaving with or without my blessing.

I decided that I would have to find someone else to help me. So I moved up to the pastor of our church. He was a great friend for a time period also. We didn’t have the same connections that Wayne (my youth pastor) and I had but it was a start for now. As time went on I started to get more comfortable with him and we started to talk more and more. Then one day he asked me to come over to his house, so excitedly I went. What could he have in store for me today? Was he going to make that feeling comeback that I got when Wayne helped me to ask God into my life? My heart was pounding in my chest; I just knew this was going to be great. I rushed right over and rang the bell to his house; he answered and invited me in. Something was not right, he seemed happy but there was a feeling I remembered and couldn’t put my finger on it.

Then he told me, he too was leaving my life and moving on to another church. Why was this happening to me? I thought God loved me and was in my life, why did he keep taking these people away from me just when I thought I was starting to get some ware? I was hurt, sad, but more than anything else, I was mad. I did not cry that time. I kept going to church until his last Sunday as pastor of the church. When he left, so did I. I did not return to the church for a very long time.